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Inside Out
Eh, Whatever.
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27th-May-2006 10:57 pm - Clay Aiken
this is it
Had a fun day today reviewing old American Idol episodes with the family. The kids didn't like AI this year. They just didn't get into it for some reason. I think it was the laptops (with wireless cable internet access) and the PSP they got for Christmas. It wasn't until today that it occured to me that we haven't been spending time together since then. And it hadn't occured to me that a lot of our family time was watching TV together. We only ever watched one or two shows together - "That's So Raven" comes to mind as one, and for the last couple of years it was also American Idol. But that had all stopped. We were all in separate rooms doing seperate things. Total strangers, each of us confined to our own seperate electronic universes.

Anyway, someone was on the internet today and saw a video of the "new" Clay Aiken and said "Hey everybody, come look at this! It's Clay Aiken! No it isn't. Is too!" But lo and behold it was he. "Look at that hair! Look and that guy, he's going nuts. Wow, he looks hot!" And for the first time in a long time we were all gathered in one place together doing the same thing, together.

Funny, they never knew that Clay had even been on AI before. So we spent the afternoon downloading and watching his AI performances and the judges reactions. And searching Michael Sandecki - what a sweetie!

Ah togetherness! I guess the laptop is our new family gathering place. Thanks, Clay.
this is it
I'm not "Homophobic". I'm not "Crazy". I'm not an "Old Lady".

None of those statements are true about me, but lately I've been getting slammed with them all the time. I'm black, so already I'm automatically assumed to be loud, less intelligent, successful because of Affirmative Action...the list is endless. All this stuff in the tabloids about Clay Aiken has created a whole new list of nasty things to say about me. Instead of just the race card, suddenly, every negative card in the deck is being flung at my head. Isn't being part of one disenfranchised minority enough? Give me a break!

I'm a devout Christian. It doesn't automatically mean I'm homophobic and it doesn't mean that my church rejects homosexuals. "Well, you're different, because MOST Christians hate gays", you cry! Bullshit. I think most Christians are confused by the issue and try to ignore it if they can. Unfortunately, if we want to talk about it with you we get slammed and called names. The fact that Clay employs people in his entourage without regard to their orientation makes him a refreshingly progressive Christian in my book. In yours it makes him a fag. And you have the nerve to call me homophobic.

But it doesn't end there. It gets worse. Nastier than being homophobic...scarier than being crazy...if I'm a Clay Aiken fan then I must be.....OLD! Even worse, an old female. Horrors! That automatically means my taste is laughable. My opinion? Meaningless. My money? Worthless. My brains? Addled. My concerns? Unimportant. I have no business thinking a younger guy is hot. How ridiculous! And besides, some think he's gay. Therefore that automatically means I must completely lose interest. If I don't I'm some stupid silly old freak.

If I actually was old I'd be pissed.

I (and about a million other Clay fans) will be old eventually, so while my ovulation is still regular and my opinion still matters, let me point out a real stupid double standard. If every old guy in America heard that Pamela Anderson had hooked up with Britney Spears, that would be the hottest thing ever! Who would care if they're gay? Older Women are only allowed to be interested in geezers like Sean Connery. If they admire anyone younger, they're stupid, crazy biddies only fit to be laughed at and scorned.

You know what? Screw you! I refuse to allow your attempts to marginalize me affect what I do. I'm sexy, old enough to do whatever I want, got my own house, my own car, my own income, and my own credit cards. Whoever sponsors the next Clay Aiken tour - no matter what your selling - I'll have a dozen, please. Especially if you advertise on radio stations that play Clay. Loyalty will be richly rewarded.

As for Clay himself? Well, who cares, really. He says he's straight so he's straight. That's a no brain-er. I don't question anybody else on the planet so I'm not likely to start now. And what if he did come out? I'd still be listening to his CD's while I drive to church on Sunday. If I want to throw in a momentary fantasy about Mrs Robinsoning the guy on the way, why on earth would it possibly matter to you?

Go get a life, will you? Leave me out of it and let me have my fun.
this is it
I get really tired of people saying "He shouldn't be insulted when people say he's gay. After all, there's nothing wrong with being gay". Excuse me, but that's total BS. If someone says they're not anything, then they aren't. Period. Insisting that they are is an insult because you're calling them a liar a phony and a fake.

Tyra Banks got so sick of people insisting that she had silicon breast implants that she actually had a plastic surgeon come and give her a breast exam on national television. Just to prove that she was telling the truth! No, there's nothing wrong with having breast implants. But insisting that she had them after she had denied it was calling her a liar. How is that not an insult? And you have to feel for Clay Aiken.

A woman at my job irritated the hell out of me by insisting that my hair was a weave and not natural. Totally untrue, but she talked about it behind my back and even to my face. Of course I was insulted! Not because hair was so important to me, but because she was insisting that something about me that wasn't true was, in fact the truth. Pissed. Me. Off.

I had reacourse though. I confronted her and dared her to snatch it off if she thought it was a weave. Tyra could prove it too. But you can't prove a negative. How can a man possible prove that they aren't gay. Even if they are married and have children people will insist that they're gay anyway. Such is the driving need within some people to feel superior by pigeonholing others.

And if I could have the snot bugged out of me over something as unimportant as my hair, how much worse would if be for someone to be falsely labeled regarding something as sensitive as their sexuality. Especially a guy. You know how you are. Your whole sense of manliness, self worth and and well being is wrapped up in your sexual self. To have that deliberately mislabeled must be as irritating as hell.

Insisting that someone is gay when they say they aren't is meant to be an insult. Can you think of one circumstance when anyone says it as a compliment? People who do that are trying to degrade someone by acting as if they are smarter than, better than or have the real goods on the person they're accusing. How many times have you heard this one? "Oh, he's gay but just doesn't know it yet!". It's simply another form of bullying.

So I wish people would get off their high horses and stop acting like denying others the right to define their own sexuality isn't an insult to them. Not to mention an insult to my intelligence.

I think it's time to start to do some public labeling of my own. People who do this are self-righteous, bigoted dumb-asses who wouldn't know the real truth about anyone if it jumped up and bit them on the ass.

There. I feel beter now. I hate bullies.
26th-Feb-2006 06:40 pm - This Just In! Uncle Tom is Gay!
this is it
I hate it when people forcibly out others who are gay. I find it difficult to understand why people who are gay themselves positively relish and enjoy outing others. Don't they realize that they are causing pain? It seems to me that they are the new, updated bersion of an Uncle Tom. I also find it incomprehensible why people, both gay and sraight, insist that there's such a thing as gaydar and declare that virtually any human being within eyesight is gay.

I feel so strange having feelings about this. I'm straight, and view all of these things as an outsider. I personally can't stand it when white people start talking about issues that affect the African American community, my community, so what right do I have to think or say anything about the gay community? Just an opinionated Bitch right? LOL!

No. Read this and it might help explain me a little. (Great my first entry and it links to someplace)

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